“How to Build a ‘Soft Morning’ When You Hate Mornings
I have a complicated relationship with mornings. When I'm doing well I can spring out of bed, energised and inspired, ready to get the worm. However when I'm not doing well my morning is usaually lay in bed too long and trying not cry before work.
So if you’re not a morning person — if mornings feel overwhelming or like they set the tone for failing early — this one’s for you.
The Myth of Morning Mastery
Wellness culture has turned mornings into a competitive sport. If you’re not journaling, drinking lemon water, meditating, doing a cold plunge, and reciting your affirmations by 6:00am… are you not living your best life?
Sure, it does feel good when you nail the morning checklist — but it’s not always sustainable. And trying to live up to it every day? That can leave you too overwhelmed to even start.
Because here’s what research shows: consistency beats complexity, and gentleness sustains change.
Enter: The Soft Morning
A soft morning isn’t about crushing your to-do list.
It’s about giving yourself a chance — to wake up slowly, to regulate your nervous system, and to feel safe enough to begin.
According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist, how we start the day directly impacts our dopamine cycle — our motivation chemical. The key? Low-friction actions that give us a small, positive “win.” That doesn’t mean hustle. It means motion.
Here’s What a Soft Morning Might Include:
Look out the window before looking at your phone
Light exposure tells your brain “we made it,” and starts your circadian rhythm.Drink a glass of water while doing nothing else
(Yes, this counts as multitasking. You're rehydrating your brain after sleep.)Stretch while still lying down
No fancy yoga. Just move your body gently.One caring act: Brush your teeth, pull on socks, sit up.
Small wins that fuel bigger ones.
Regulate Before You Motivate
If you wake up anxious, unmotivated, or immediately overwhelmed, your first job is to regulate your nervous system.
Not hustle.
Not even “get stuff done.”
Just come back into your body.
Here’s what helps:
Five deep belly breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth)
Box breathing (inhale for 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
Put your feet on the ground and name 3 things you feel
These aren’t hacks. They’re neuroscience.
When you regulate your vagus nerve, you create the conditions for clarity, calm, and eventually — momentum.
Soft Starts Are Still Starts
Maybe your soft morning means tea instead of coffee.
Maybe it means journaling half a sentence.
Maybe it means lying in bed for an extra 15 minutes — but without guilt this time.
Progress isn’t always visible. But softness is never wasted.
This Is Your Reminder:
You don’t have to win the morning to be worthy of the day.
You don’t have to be a morning person to be a whole person.
You are Kind & Capable — even if your “routine” starts at noon.
Stay soft. Stay scrappy.
Jamie (and Luna, CEO of the morning sleep in)
New Sources & Experts (If You’re a Science Nerd Like Me):
Dr. Andrew Huberman – Morning dopamine, circadian rhythm, behavior triggers
hubermanlab.comYuen et al., 2020 – Vagus nerve stimulation and emotional regulation
Study LinkJames Clear – Atomic Habits
(Tiny habits shape identity and outcomes. One plate, one sock, one step.)
